He's my teenage dream...

   It's been awhile since Ive posted a blog. I wasnt in a great place last year, and what a year it has been. It hasn't been easy, but through it all I found love....
  We've all had celebrity crushes, or teenage dreams when we were younger, I've had the oppurtunity to meet some of mine, many of you may have as well. If you have, you know that excitement you felt when you saw them or met them? Well that's how I feel about James. Over a year later I still feel butterflies when I know I'm going to see him, my heart skips a beat when he looks at me, or when I hear his voice. Nothing in the world can compare to being in love with my best friend. It's the best feeling in the world when we're together, and that's why I miss him so much when we're apart, and why it hurts so much when things are not right between us. I sometimes try to put up walls to protect myself, but all it takes is one look from him and they come down. I've never been so open with anyone before. He makes me feel so pretty, I love that he tells me to not wear make up or to just throw on sweat pants, but I like looking nice for him. He inspires me in so many ways, to work harder, eat healthier, he just makes me wanna be a better person. I dont even need anyone to understand why I want to be with him, or why I love him. It's just a fact that I do. Thats it. It's a feeling so strong that it's hard to put into words. Are things perfect right now? No. But I dont expect things to ever be perfect..no relationship is. Spending time with him, talking to him, that's what makes me happy. I wish he would just take a chance and not ever look back. Can't force things though, nor do I want to. I'm just thankful to have found him, and keeping faith that what's meant to be will be. The hardest part is the waiting, the BEST part is having someone worth waiting for. I am blessed<3 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fj2HVYlD_4

10 Things I Hate About You!

Another wicked cool movie from my teenage years! Remember this poem? It has been stuck in my head since!!
I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

He's Just Not That Into You

So I've read the book, I've seen the movie..loved them both. They offer tons of advice..advice that us girls never take. Spending time with my friends recently, the conversation turned to the men in our lives, as they almost always do. Asking each other opinions of what does he mean when he says "blah blah blah", or "what should I do?" Here some memorable quotes from the movie:

  Gigi-- "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. Maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on, or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope."

Alex-- "So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions."

Gigi-- "Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab..."
Alex-- "Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again."

Gigi: Ok I'm making out with this guy, PG stuff. but he mentions he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
 Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where's he gonna be that he's gonna be out of touch?
Gigi: *Opens bathroom door* - "Where are you going out of town to again?" Gigi: Pittsburgh
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So, what? Now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh... Yeah!
Gigi: There's not gonna be anybody left.

 Mary: "I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."

The best advice is this:

   Alex: "If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you."

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Me Myself and I..

OK, seriously..I want to say that every single guy I have ever dated in my life is a complete ass. For real. I don't know why this is so upsetting to me right now. But it is. I won't mention names and I'll spare you details of arguments, beer dumped over head,lies etc..I feel like I've wasted so much time with guys that are not good enough for me. I'm not normally a violent person, but if several were in front of me I'd want to give them a good smack in the head and ask what their problem is or was? I really wished I was a lesbian. Girls are so much cooler, and make better roomates..this is now coming from a chick who has always had a lot of male friends..sigh..where is my former bestie now? oh yeah thats right, I moved away, got married, then he got married, we never talk anymore. Sometimes I miss him. Let me just say this, I am not a needy girl, I am very independant, I know how a guy should treat me, and how I want to be treated so why the hell do I put up with the bullshit? I feel so miserble right now, and that so isn't me. I'm re reading my former post in hopes of reminding myself it could be worse.. I'm thankful for a lot of things in my life, but feel like theres so much missing, or more that I want. Most of it things that money cant buy. "All  I want is a little free".. Im going to get some sleep,..see what tomorrow brings. Hoping to go see Jarrod Gorbel play a show in CT. Thank God for these lil escapes, I love music, it helps to express thoughts and emotions, or go to a show and rock out and forget your problems for a few hours.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/9ectP2O1Tps?rel=0

Live Love Laugh..often!

"I'm so sick of being so serious, it's making my brain delirious.." those are words from my good friend Ke$ha..ok well, she's not really a friend of mine, heck, I wouldnt even call myself a fan..I don't really know anything about her... I will say though I am surprisingly a fan of her mindless music:) Sometimes life is tough, let your hair down, have some fun! Remember even on a really bad day there are probably some who have it a lot worse than you. They would probably trade places with you anyday! Live everyday to it's fullest, tell people you love them, and laugh often! Laughter really is the best medicine!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q97c5szTgIA?rel=0